This Time Of Year-The Introvert Perspective

Christmas, as any reasonable person knows, is a state of mind. Except for unreasonably cold winds blowing into our sacred space here in the Caribbean, December is like any other month. The 25th of December is simply another day. Yet, as a I sit at my desk, scrolling through my email inbox, I notice that everyone is gone or has gone on leave in preparation for the mother of all holidays that rolls around next week.

People think there is something special about this time of year, so all the millions of "thoughts" actually produce a special time of year. Unfortunately, since these millions of thoughts are "out there" it produces millions of people scurrying around generating far too much anxiety and nervous energy.

The reader needs to understand that I am an introvert (according to Myers-Briggs typology). This means, apparently, that I don't appreciate the anxiety and nervous energy of millions of people. The introvert is never happier than when he or she is alone with a good book or sharing conversation with a few intimate friends. The introvert can tolerate crowds for only a few hours then he or she must retreat to some personal space to recharge.

I need ME time, not because I am anti-social, but because I need quiet space in much the same way in which a fish needs its fins. The introvert draws his or her energy from the internal world of thoughts, reflections, meditation. December, then, with its overflow of nervous energy and superfluous activities can pose a significant threat to the introvert. Let me be clear. An introvert is not necessarily a "scrooge." The introvert simply believes that Christmas is to be enjoyed quietly and retrospectively. One ought to reflect, meditate and share conversation with like minds and intimates...

Wishful thinking...

Christmas is the season of merriment despite the recession. You can go through an entire year without a party invitation and then December dumps forty of them in your lap and all of them will be happening on the same afternoon or evening as forty other social events which you simply must attend. Of course, you really don't have to attend most of them, but the introvert suffers a secret guilt. If you don't go to at least one of the events happening at the same time on the same evening, it feels as though you have committed a crime. The unhealthy introvert tells everyone he has an incurable disease and disappears until January. The healthy introvert knows you must put in an appearance at some social engagements even though the introvert's arch-enemy, the extreme extrovert, is definitely going to be there.

The extrovert is to the introvert what kryptonite is to superman. The extrovert draws his or her energy from the external world, from being among people, from getting out and about. Since the introvert lives in the "world" out there, we become part of the extrovert's world and the extrovert needs us as part of his/her world. The extrovert particularly delights in the introvert because we appear to leave so much space for the extrovert. Because introverts are so often in reflection, the extroverts mistakenly believes introverts are waiting for them to speak and they are happy to oblige with ramblings about their week's experiences, their thoughts on global warming, religion, the cost of bread, rice, milk, his dogs, her cats, their sex partners and their special brand of toothpaste.

If the introvert dislikes the extrovert, and if the introvert is not a "healthy" introvert, he or she imagines several painful ways of getting rid of the extrovert.

The extrovert sucks all the air out of the introvert's world and never seems to notice that you're turning blue and gagging for air. The unhealthy extroverts abhor a vacuum and seek to fill every available space with themselves.

Don't get me wrong. The world needs extroverts. The whole world would still be locked in the days of dinosaurs if it were left to us introverts. You see, we would invent things (because we are the thinkers and creators) but there would be nobody to implement, distribute and market the things we invent. There would be no leadership, organization and "drive" if the world were left to the introvert population.

If you are throwing a party this season, you need extroverts and a few socially mature introverts. The former will keep the dancing going, entertain strangers in the group and keep lively conversation going. The latter will keep conversation meaningful and away from banal driveling usually of interest only to the driveler.

Lets be clear...Many healthy extroverts are out there. These are those who understand that other people were not created simply to be audiences. The healthy extrovert wants to hear the introvert's opinions and thoughts because healthy extroverts have learnt that healthy introverts usually have novel and interesting perspectives on many things. Introverts spend time thinking, pondering the meaning of the world...and the meaning of Christmas.

The main reflection of the introvert at this time of year is, "What is all this about anyhow?" Most people celebrating Christmas don't really believe in Christ and those who don't believe in Christ still relish the idea of a day off from work in His name.

The introvert relishes, however, the hush that seems to fall over our world on the 25th of December. Uncanny, isn't it, that the madness of the pre-Christmas period seems to evaporate into a relative stillness on the Day. Even the introvert, however, enjoys the company of an intimate circle at this time. In that circle, even the most extreme introvert can appear extroverted and enjoy a good laugh, good music, good food and good conversation and, especially at Christmas, the introvert can extend good wishes to and share good will with even the most extreme extrovert...for a minute or two at least...